Freaky Naruto Dream
by KainUltima
Summary: Chapter Four is out. Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Naruto: Lost in Confusion

Yo, Ultima-kun here. I've been on a Naruto craze lately and I decided to try my hand on Naruto fics. But, due to its emense size of fics, there wasn't much left to be original. So I decided to write about a dream I had once. (Yes, I had a Naruto based dream one time...scratch that...I had a bunch of dreams that kept adding onto a series of its own for some reason.) It made no damn sense to me at all, but after careful thinking I managed to put this story together along with a few things to help make sense with the story. Expect some OOC. This is a self insert (duh, my dream) No real pairings but things do get crazy now and then. I decided to make this on a sugar rush since I had no other way to use my energy and I was in the mood to write. Character descriptions are NOT going to be posted because I'm just going to assume you all know what they look like anyways. Different outfits (if I use any) will be described. Now then, enjoy if you can.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except myself. The plot may seem original but it might have been used before. Don't blame me if it seems crappy as this IS my first Naruto fic. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

Chapter One: Welcome to Konoha

It was a normal day, not much to do really. Leon was sitting at his desk and was lost in thought when suddenly he decided to watch some T.V. (ah yes, the perfect escape no?) He was flipping through the channels with a bored expression as to his dismay, nothing good was on. He then see's that Naruto is coming on in five minutes. "Well, It may be a re-run but hey, who cares?" Leon shrugged as he suddenly heard a loud bang from outside. He looked out the window and noticed that a thunderstorm was heading his way.

"Darn storms...of all the times.." Leon grumbled as he silently prayed that the storm wouldn't interfere with the show. Just as the show started, Leon reached over to turn up the volume when suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck the dish outside and the jolt went coursing throughout the house and into the cable box and T.V.

The next thing Leon knew, was that he was shaking very hard and the world around him became a blur. Unbeknownst to him however, the lightning somehow affected the T.V. and Leon got pulled through it.

? time later

Leon heard some hushed whispers suddenly as he started to wake up. The first to return was his hearing, he heard...birds? Wierd...next he could smell...there was obviously something under him that stank. Next was his feeling, he felt something soft, yet bumpy underneath him. The last to return was his sight, he opened his eyes and sat up. He immediatelly took note that he was in a forest of some kind, due to the trees around him.

Leon looked around and the next thing he saw freaked him out. THERE. Standing in front of him was Naruto Uzumaki, the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja himself, next to him was Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, and Gai's, Kurenai's and Asuma's groups standing there, staring at him. (got lazy here and just named the leaders groups)

Suddenly, he heard a muffled moan under him and he looked down, he now noticed that he was sitting on Kakashi. Not sure what to do, he quickly stands up and takes a few steps back from everyone. Kakashi gets up and looks over at the person that just 'landed' on him. Everyone is staring as Leon is unsure what to say.

Naruto suddenly breaks the silence, "Hey! Who is this guy?" he asks as he looks around at everyone for an explaination. No one say's anything and then Kakashi steps forward. "It would be nice if you gave us your name and tell us why your way out here." he says as he studies Leon with his one eye, lazily halfway open.

Leon, totally ignoring Kakashi, goes off into his own question spree. "Where am I? How did I get here? How can you all be here when your only an anime!" he blurts out as Kakashi sweatdrops at being ignored. "You are in Konoha Village and you got here by falling from the sky and landing on me." Kakashi answered as most of the other people nodded. "And...what is an 'anime'...as you call it?" Kakashi asked as Leon seemed to be startled by that question.

"Anime is...um...well...heck I've never been asked this before...all I can say is...to me, its the best form of entertainment around, aside from gaming and fic writing." Leon answered as everyone around seemed to consider what he was saying. "Well...that answers your questions...now how about answering ours?" Kakashi asked as he folded his arms across his chest, his eye still maintaining that lazy look.

"Well...my name is Leon and I was just watching T.V. when I suddenly heard a bang and then got shook up, the next thing I know...I'm here." he explained as everyone talked amongst themselves. Kakashi put a hand to his chin as he was thinking about all this. "Well...theres nothing we can really do to send you back to your home, but for now I suppose we should take you to go see the Hokage." Kakashi said as he resumed his laid back attitude.

"Well, let me introduce everyone." Kakashi starts out, but Leon interupts him. "Forget it, I know everyone here already." he says as he smirks with pride. "Oh really?" Kakashi asks as he gets an amused look in his eye. "Then by all means, please tell us." He says as he smiles under his mask.

Leon sighs and looks up, "Ok, your Kakashi Hatake, your a Jonin and you have a Sharingan eye, your main attack is the lightning blade. The three in your squad are Sasuke Uchiha, he is the last member of the Uchiha clan and he has the power of the Sharingan, he has an older brother named Itachi that he wants to kill and he has a curse mark from Orochimaru." Leon says as he smiles while Sasuke gets a shocked expression on his face.

"Next is Sakura Haruno, she has the best chakra control in the group. She has a crush on Sasuke and she is a total jerk towards Naruto, despite all his best efforts to help or please her." Leon says as he closes his eyes. Everyone else's jaw drops and hangs at his knowledge. "Next is Naruto Uzumaki, the number one hyperactive knucklehead ninja. He loves ramen and has a crush on Sakura. He tries everything in his power to get her to like him but nothing works. He is the main character of the story and he also is the strongest in future episodes. I know more but I'm not going to go on."

"Next group, Gai-sensei's group. In it is Rock Lee, the leaf villages handsome devil. He is a Taijutsu fighter because of his lack of chakra. He idolizes Gai and does anything his sensei wishes. Next is TenTen, she is a weapon master and her attack Rising Twin Dragons is a fine example of that. She never misses her target but she did lose a fight due to cough heavy winds. Finally, Neji Hyuga, he is one of the members of the Hyuga clan and he is the smartest Genin in the village. Also one of the strongest. He has the Byakugon which lets him see, in many ways."

By this info, Gai and his team, are speechless. Well, everyone was. Leon didn't stop there however, "Next is Kurenai's team, in it is Kiba Inuzuka, he has his companion Akumaru, together with his all fours jutsu and his fang over fang, they are a force to be reckoned with. He puts new term to mans best friend. Next is Shino Aburame, he always has his glasses on and that long coat, so not much is known about his looks. He uses his chakra eating bugs for combat and he always has a plan ready whenever he fights. Finally, Hinata Hyuga, she is Neji's cousin and she is a timid person. She has a crush on Naruto and she also has the Byakugon. Kurenai Yuhi...sorry but I don't know much about you."

By now, everyones eye was twitching, Kurenai's more so due to the lack of info on her, but maybe that was a good thing. "The last group to be noted is Asuma Sarutobi's, I don't know much about him except he uses two daggers and has a smoking problem. In his group is Ino Yamanaka, her parents run a flower shop if I'm not mistaken, either way, she is Sakura's rival and friend and she has a mind transfer jutsu. She is the backbone for the squad and is usually the one with all the energy. Next is Shikamaru Nara, he could easily be the smartest, if most powerful ninja if he would actually quit being lazy. He has a shadow manipulation jutsu and he is the brains of the group. Last, but most certainly not least, Choji Akimichi, he has his expansion jutsu and his human boulder jutsu. He is the brawn of the group."

After all this, everyone was stunned, the Jonin however, were suspicious. "How do we know your not a spy?" Kakashi asked suddenly as he started to charge up his lightning blade. Leon glances at the attack and shakes his head. "I have no proof, if I had my book or tape with me I could easily prove all this. The point is, in the world I'm from, your all nothing but a T.V. show or fictional story used for entertainment." Leon explained as everyone stared at him. "So let me get this straight, your saying...that in your world, were nothing but a show used for entertainment?" Kakashi said as he summed everything up.

Leon nodded and smirked, "How else would I know all about you guys?" he says as he crosses his arms in a victory pose. "Oh yeah, one more thing, Tsunade Hime is the fifth Hokage of this village." Leon says as he turns and starts to make his way towards the village. With a nod, everyone starts to go to the village but stop suddenly when they noticed Leon walking way in the back.

"Hey, why don't you go faster?" Naruto asked as they all stopped and turned to face him. "Maybe if I could jump tree to tree like you guys I could move faster." Leon retorted sarcastically as everyone sweatdropped. Suddenly, Kakashi came back over, picked up Leon, and put him in a tree. "Just channel your chakra to your feet and leap across the trees." he said as if it was normal. "I can't use chakra, Let alone have it!" Leon yelled out as he shut his eyes and shook his head.

"It's easy, don't worry." was all Leon heard before Kakashi pushed him off the tree where he fell and was knocked unconscious. "Crazy...bastards..." was all Leon mumbled before he passed out.

Well I've decided to stop there for now. Please tell me what you think. This is only the first to many so there will be more. Remember, this is a dream I had so don't bother requesting anything to happen in the fic. Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto: Lost in Confusion

Yo, Ultima here, well this is the second one so I hope you all enjoy it. Remember that this is a dream and to be honest I think it's very original. I don't know many people that would confess to having anime based dreams. I have a lot but this Naruto one is the first one I actually got the nerve to write about.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except how this story rolls out and myself. I did dream it after all.

Chapter Two: Konoha Chunin vs. Competitive Freelancer

Leon awoke in a huge room that had alot of people in there with him. Leon kept his eyes closed but opened them partially to see what was going on. The same people from earlier were here except they all had their backs to him as they were busy talking to a person at the front in a huge chair. 'That must be Tsunade...' Leon thought as he spied about the room.

"But Tsunade-sama! He could be a spy for Orochimaru!" someone said as a bunch of mumbles were let out from the comment. I glanced over as best I could and saw that the students were arguing with the fact about my sudden appearance. "I seriously doubt a spy would make such an entrance if they were trying to be undercover." Tsunade explained as she then took out some other papers from her desk.

"Also, we have a new S Ranked mission involving a weird portal nearby that keeps dropping random items through it. We're not sure what these things are or where this portal thing goes to but I have a feeling that this portal may involve how our sleeping friend over there, managed to get here." Tsunade explained as everyone nodded. "Now when he wakes up we can get on with the mis-wait...where did he go?" Tsunade said as everyone suddenly turned to find Leon gone, but the doors open.

"I think he knows about the portal..." Kakashi stated as everyone suddenly ran out to find the missing person. Leon however, had managed to get lost and before he knew it, he came across the same building he stopped for directions for an hour ago, for the seventh time in a row. "Damn it...I'm getting nowhere like this..." Leon cursed as he kept walking around aimlessly.

The squads decided to split up and look for Leon in different parts of town. Gai's team would check by the woods, Kurenai's would check uptown, Asuma's would check around their current location and Kakashi's would check around downtown. Leon however, had stopped to rest at a place called Ichiraku Ramen. Leon didn't know that's what it was called because he couldn't read the sign, but that's where he was. No one seemed to be around so he just sat at a stool and looked around.

Kakashi's group was flying from rooftop to rooftop, but they still couldn't find Leon anywhere. Gai's team searched the whole woods but couldn't find him. Asuma and Kurenai's team couldn't find him either. Upset, the groups reformed together and started to think of where he could have possibly ran off to.

"Well, we would figure he would go off in search of that portal...but then again, there aren't that many kind people around here so its a possibility some punk rogue ninja attacked him." Kakashi stated as everyone nodded. Unbeknownst to them, just around the corner, Leon was just walking right towards their spot. "Well, I guess we'd better go try again." Asuma said as everyone sighed. They then turned and went the totally opposite direction of Leon.

Leon however, didn't turn to see them but kept walking forwards. "Now maybe if I go though this alley, I can find my way out of this crazy village..." Leon said aloud as he kept walking around to who knows where. Back with the others however, they finally came back the same spot they just were at. "Amazing, he can't even move as fast as us but he has a great hiding ability! That is the power of the youth these days! Make up for your losses!" Gai said as he struck his pose with the thumbs up and abnormal shiny teeth.

"Or maybe the fact that he has Zero chakra is why we can't find him..." Kurenai stated while giving Gai a weirded out expression. Neji and Hinata then both activate their Byakugon to try and find him in the area. Neji looks up suddenly, "He's by Ichiraku Ramen!" in a flash, the whole group is gone and they suddenly reappear by the said shop, there he is, relaxing on one of the stools again. Leon looks up at them and waves. "Hey, what's up?" he asks calmly.

"That was very dangerous you know! You could have gotten mugged!" Kakashi scolded. Leon gave Kakashi a confused look, "Mugged? I have nothing of value from this place...so I don't see WHY anyone would even waste their time with me..." Leon said as he stared hard at Kakashi, "Besides, if they tried anything, I have a few weapons." Leon said as he then showed Kakashi a pop out blade he found that he had attached to his arm.

"Where on earth did you find that?" Asuma said as he looked at the rusty looking weapon. "I found it while walking around aimlessly, I figured I'd need it so I fixed it really quick and put it on." Leon explained as he showed Asuma the weapon. "Hmm...well you did a fine job, but it can be stronger if you put more time into it..." Asuma started as he was inspecting the blade.

"Ahem" Kakashi interrupted as he glared at Asuma. "Whoops...sorry...anyways. Kakashi's right...you shouldn't have done that..." Asuma said with a cough as he tried to regain his composure. "Well...what's done is done...so let's go find that portal..." Kakashi said as they all started to walk towards the woods.

When they got to the portal, everyone was shocked at all the junk flying through it. There were different assortments of junk and piles of things they had never seen before. Leon was running through it all, grabbing this and that and adding it all to his collection. "What are you grabbing all that stuff for?" Neji asked in his gruff demeanor as he watched Leon run amuck.

"I can use this stuff to make other things, for one...other weapons..." Leon said as he was grabbing more stuff and avoiding the incoming items from said portal. Suddenly a car comes flying through and goes rolling while getting the crunching of a lifetime, and just like that, the portal closes. Everyone stared some more as Leon went about his business.

"I'm going to be here a while...go do whatever you want..." Leon said as he sat down and started to mess with a few things he found. The Jonin went over to the nearby lake and sat down, the students however either watched Leon build his contraptions or they leaned against nearby trees. Suddenly Leon started to inspect a strange L shaped object, it had a hole in the front and the top moved back and forth as the bottom corner part had a circular area with a trigger looking thing inside it. (If you don't know that it's a gun by now then you need help...)

"What on earth is that?" Sasuke asked as he looked at the device with curiosity. "It's a gun...a handgun to be precise...you know how you throw your shurikan right?" Leon asked. Everyone nodded, "Well this thing shoots lead bullets at Mach 7, that's about a million times faster than your shurikan can ever go..." Leon explained as he secretly grinned at everyones shocked expression. "There are a few more things around here I find interesting...I'm going to need a wheelbarrow or something..." Leon said while looking at all the junk. They all shrugged and walked off, leaving Leon to do his thing.

15 hours later

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura went back to the woods to look for Leon. They couldn't find him in the town so they figured he was still there. When they got there, they found a lot of things that were apparently fixed and put into a pile. There were radios, giant square things with screens, a small black box that had the letters PS2, a pile of boxes with pictures on them next to it, a strange looking two wheeled device, a bunch of weapons and a bunch of books and papers.

"Hey, what is all this?" Naruto asked as he started to go through some of the fixed stuff. "Yeah, I've never seen anything like these before..." Sakura said as she picked up the PS2 and examined it. Leon was totally oblivious to them as he was repairing a square shaped device. There were small black square shaped things next to him, they guessed that they were for the device.

"Hey! What is this stuff?" Naruto yelled right into Leon's ear as he suddenly looked up at them. He smiled as he showed them everything he repaired. "This is a VCR, you can watch movies with it." He explained as they gave the device a weird look. "That thing your holding there Sakura is a Playstation two...or PS2 for short...it's a game and it can also play DVD's and CD's." Leon explained as he finished working on the VCR and put the cover back on it.

"So this stuff comes from your world?" Sasuke asked as he started to pick up the small picture boxes that said Playstation 2 on the top. His eyes then went wide as he saw the cover of a particular game. "What is this?" he asked as he showed Leon the game. Leon looked over and then turned back to his own matters. "That's a game...its called Naruto Ultimate Ninja." Leon answered as he put the VCR down next to some of the other things. "Well anyways, today we're supposed to show you around the village." Sakura said as she put the PS2 down. "Really? Cool…now I won't get lost anymore." Leon exclaimed happily as he put down everything he was holding and dusted himself off. Soon after they set off, they showed him around the village and explained everything to him that was needed so he wouldn't get lost. Leon seemed to enjoy himself as he absorbed all of this. Soon they stopped and had lunch at Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura were shocked, Leon had eaten three times as much as Naruto could hold and he had not gained a single pound though all of this! (A/N: Yes, that is the power of MY metabolism in real life. Heh heh heh.) "Wow, where do you store it?" Sakura asked as she watched Leon finish his last bowl. "I'm not sure, I think it gets digested before it hits the stomach." Leon said with a grin as he looked around the humble establishment. "This is a pretty nice place, I really like the village." Leon said as he turned back to the three. "Glad you like it, but sadly I have to go home now. I have to get up early tomorrow." Sakura said. "I need to train in the morning so I'll see you later…" Sasuke said. The two bowed and left Naruto with Leon, Naruto then turned towards Leon and grinned, "So whatcha wanna do now?" he asked Leon. Leon thought hard for a minute and decided, they should go play pranks on the village. Naruto agreed wholeheartedly.

That Night

Naruto and Leon snuck into Sasuke's room and crept up to his bed with a bowl of warm water. Snickering, they stuck his hand in it and left without a word. Later they paid a visit to Chouji's and they hid his snacks and replaced them with dieting food. At Ino's, they snuck in and they shaved her eyebrows off and they cut the long part of her hair off in the front. At the Hyuga household they snuck in and put a bunch of alarm clocks set to go off at midnight all around Neji and left. (A/N: This part was hard for me because I'm such a Hinata fan…course I like Naruto and all the girls so…) they snuck into her room and taped a bunch of cough explicit photos around her room. They went to Shikamaru's and they drew all over the walls, at Rock Lee's they went in and they tied knots in his sleeves and pants legs and cut some of the shirts apart. At Sakura's they went in and put a rock on her bed but they used a jutsu to make it look like Sasuke's head. They then went to TenTen's house and they hid her scrolls under her pillow and they took her outfits and left nothing but a bunch of frilly outfits which they permanently borrowed from a nearby clothing store. At Kiba's they put a trap set up courtesy of Leon's technology, it was an air gun that shot out smells and they had it rigged to when he woke up and sat up, the gun would fire a stench of fart and moldy garbage. At Shino's they left a bunch of pamphlets in his mailbox about bug exterminators and they left a fly swatter and a can of Raid next to his bed. At their last stop, Kakashi's, they went in and hid all his adult books and left a bunch of glued together books and a bunch of How to for the idiots and self help books. They then went and painted the Hokage Mountain and then went back to Naruto's house to call it a night, Leon got the couch and Naruto went to his room.

The next day

Naruto was making ramen for breakfast, he had forgotten he had company and thus he had to make more than he originally planned now. When the ramen was done however, Leon was still snoozing. "Oi Leon, Breakfast is ready!" Naruto shouted at Leon. Before Naruto could blink, Leon had leaped off the couch and flew towards the kitchen, however Leon did not have chakra and he was pretty much still asleep so he landed on his face with a skid. "OUCH! I got up before I woke up!" Leon yelled as he rubbed his now tender nose. Naruto was breaking down with laughter at the sight. He had seen some funny things in his life but never before has he ever seen anything like this. Naruto was so doubled over in laughter that he could hardly talk. "Ha ha ha, are you, ha ha all ri-ha ha ha- all right? Ha ha ha!" Naruto was on the ground and rolling with laughter. Leon got up and kicked him and walked over to the table and started eating. Naruto, after his giggle fit and sore stomach, got up and joined in with the ramen feast. After the ramen was all gone and they were both content with their meal, they decided to go out and see the damage they had caused.

Kakashi's house

"Oh my god! My babies! My beautiful treasures! Gone! Stolen and replaced by these ridiculous replacements!" Kakashi cried as he fell to his knees and started to cry over the loss of his books. Naruto and Leon giggled and made their way over to the Hyuga house. When they got there, they saw a huge gaping hole where Neji's room should be and Hinata sitting outside with wide eyes and a blank stare. They made their way over to Ino's and right now they wish they didn't, she came outside wearing a hat and a giant pair of sunglasses. When she saw them laughing, she started to chase them. Leon was not as fast as Naruto but he was smart when it came to running from angry people. He took a different route that had a bunch of tricky maneuvers and piles of junk lying around that Ino just didn't even attempt to chase after him, but instead took off after Baka Naruto who had taken the clean route but with a dead end. After Naruto got beat up a bit, Leon came back and revived him by nudging him a few times with his foot. They continued their trek and came to Sakura's house that now had a giant hole in the window where a certain rock just happened to be underneath. They then went to Sasuke's and noticed that he was hanging some sheets and blankets out to dry. "Hey Sasuke, had a little wet dream?" Leon called out as Naruto started laughing, blushing, but angered…Sasuke took off after them, once again Leon took a tricky route, but Sasuke was more determined then Ino and took off after him. Leon managed to lose Sasuke by a store and he just gave up and went back, unfortunately for Naruto, he just happened to 'bump' into him on the way home and got beat up again. They decided to go to the others but quickly. When they got to TenTen's house, they didn't see her. They waited for a bit until finally she poked her head out the window and yelled at them. "What are you two doing standing around outside my house?" she asked as she gave them both a quizzical look. "What's the matter TenTen? Not dressed well enough for the weather?" Naruto said. She apparently put two and two together and figured out WHY her cloths were missing. "Naruto! Leon! When I get my hands on you two!" with that she slammed her window shut and they heard a low rumbling noise emit from her house which for some reason, got louder and closer each second, before they waited to see why, they took off in a mad dash to escape. TenTen suddenly burst out of her house wearing a very revealing outfit, a very short mini skirt and a shirt that revealed some of her chest. Leon looked back and froze suddenly, his head then rocketed backwards from the biggest bloody nose he has ever had in his life as he then fainted from blood loss with a smile on his face and swirls in his eyes. TenTen was confused by his behavior and totally forgot about beating him to a pulp. Naruto was also oblivious as to what happened and came back to check on his partner in crime. TenTen looked up and immediately got angry again. "Damn you Naruto!" was all he heard before she then emitted a red aura of chakra that would have put Kyuubi's to shame.

10 Minutes later

Leon awoke on a couch in a place he had never seen before, the building was clean and it smelled nice, unlike Naruto's which was bare and smelled of old ramen. He then looked down and saw Naruto, bloody, swollen and beaten to a pulp as he laid on the floor moaning. TenTen suddenly reappeared with a first aid kit and her normal clothes back. Leon shook his head and stared at Naruto. "Geez, you really messed him up…" Leon commented as she started to attend to his wounds. "Well, he knew where my stuff was so I had to beat the information out of him since you were unconscious for some reason." TenTen said, not knowing WHY Leon got a nosebleed and fainted. "By the way, did you know anything about this?" she asked as she then turned and looked at him, Leon nodded. "Yeah, he drug me around all over the place saying, if I didn't help him he'd gut me like a fish with his kunai." Leon lied, totally making it up but keeping it to sounding like the truth, a skill that he is really, REALLY good at. TenTen's eyes widened upon hearing this and she stopped what she was doing with Naruto and then threw him out the window. Leon sweat dropped as he watched this with a slight smile on his face. "Gee, I'd hate to get you mad at me…" Leon said as he peeked out the window at Naruto's mangled form. TenTen laughed, "I doubt you would get me mad, you're honest unlike Naruto who is an idiot and likes to pull pranks all the time." TenTen said as Leon sweat dropped with a huge smile on his face. 'I swear my friend, your sacrifice will not be in vain, and I'll get you a year's supply of ramen for this!' Leon thought as TenTen put the first aid kit away and motioned for him to follow her. "I guess I'll show you around Konoha for a bit." She said as she led him down the street. Leon had seen most of this district with Sasuke and Sakura yesterday but he didn't say anything as TenTen seemed to enjoy talking about all of this. Suddenly Neji, Shino, and Kiba came walking over and Kiba immediately grabbed onto Leon. "I know that device belongs to you because I have never seen anything like it before!" Kiba growled as he held Leon up in the air. Leon had an emotionless expression on his face as he stared at Kiba. "Any last words before I rip you apart with my all fours jutsu?" Kiba said as he cracked the knuckles in his left hand while hanging on to him with his right. "I don't know what you're talking about, first off, let me say that I don't even know where you live, let alone how to find your place. Remember, I know diddly about this village so don't go accusing me of things you have no proof of. Now let me down dog boy, or your going to learn the hard way how a dog feels when they get neutered." Leon threatened as Kiba's eyes flashed with anger before he put him down. "So if you didn't set up that thing, then who did?" Kiba asked as he glared at Leon. "Naruto of course…" Leon said matter-of-factly as he shrugged. "Who else knows this village inside and out and would pull a prank like that?" he said as Kiba looked a bit shocked, then his shock turned to anger. Neji was mad however still yet at being woken up. He then pushed Leon's shoulder and glared at him. "So then if Naruto got Kiba then there's no way he could have done that to me…" He said as he glared at Leon. Leon shook his head, "Please Neji, I'm not a ninja. I am terrible at sneaking and lying and you would have woken up if I went into your house. I mean, HOW would I have gotten into your house?" Leon asked as he put his expert lying ability to good use. Neji seemed to consider this then he bowed, "All right then, please forgive my rudeness." Leon scratched the back of his head. 'Maybe I better make that ten years worth of ramen…' Leon thought as he chuckled lightly. As if on cue, Naruto walks up and Leon turns to stone. Naruto waves and smiles at everyone but stops when he see's that they are all suddenly glowing with an aura of chakra. TenTen can only shake her head as Naruto gets beat up again and Leon watches as he suddenly goes flying off into the horizon. Leon has tears in his eyes as he salutes Naruto. 'That is one brave boy…I vow to give you thirty years worth of ramen for this!' Leon thinks as he pats his chest twice and points at Naruto's flying body. TenTen's head leans to the side somewhat at the sight of this. "What was that about?" she asks him as she looks directly as Leon. "I'm starting to feel sorry for him, its respect for the soon to be deceased." Leon explains as he suddenly gets a mental image of Naruto getting beat up by everyone till he died. Leon shudders and starts walking down the path again. With the company of Kiba, Neji and Shino, who didn't say anything about the bug extermination items excluding when he beat up Naruto. They then decided to go have lunch at a nearby restaurant that Leon couldn't pronounce, and if irony could laugh, it would be doubled over right now for there in the restaurant, was everyone they pulled a prank on that night. Leon gulped and sat down as close to the entrance as he could so no one would question him. The others were having their own conversations as Leon contemplated running, trying to maintain his cool some more, or committing seppuku right there on the spot. Leon was seriously considering that last one when he suddenly saw Naruto enter the café, and to say the least…he did NOT look happy. Everyone turned towards Naruto and glared at him, Naruto snapped finally. "I don't see why LEON didn't get beat up! It was HIS idea that we do all of that anyways!" Naruto yelled out as he glared at each and everyone one of them as they had a shocked look on their face, then they pulled an exorcism with all their heads suddenly turning towards where Leon was supposed to be sitting, but all that remained was an empty bowl of food and some blowing door curtains.

In the woods

Leon was grabbing anything and everything he could find to make a suitable defense against an angry barrage of ninjas. He grabbed another stink gun and a bag of water balloons, he made a catapult from some nearby boards and he turned the crushed car into a formidable base with a secret escape. If things got too nasty he could just crawl down the hole and get away to safety in another area he had dug the hole to. He then filled the balloons with water and other liquids and he started to build traps in the dirt and the junk around him. Soon enough, he was ready for anything. As if on cue, they appeared, a small army of ninja's, a Jonin, and twelve Chunin with a personal score to settle with a certain lying prank pulling freelancer. They then charged at his small base, Leon then grabbed onto a string and got ready for combat. "Man the torpedoes!" He cried as he then pulled on one of the strings and unleashed a water balloon barrage upon them. They had never seen a water balloon before so they didn't know what it was that was suddenly flying at them. They leaped out of the way of the attack and they took cover behind some logs. Leon, on the other hand, took some fireworks out of his emergency fire box and started to load them into a pipe. They tried again, this time splitting into a group and charging from two different sides, Leon then threw two red smoke balls at one group and the other happened to trigger one of his traps. A sudden barrage of lined up tires came flying, or should I say rolling, at them. Two of them got hit but the others managed to avoid the attack. The other group meanwhile, had backed off from the smoke bombs and were unsure if it was safe to go into the smoke. Suddenly, they heard something like a hissing noise then four bottle rockets came flying at them at once. They jumped back and avoided them right when they exploded. Before they could recover however, Leon poked his head up and aimed a pipe at them, the front had a giant blue cone shaped thing on the front. Before they could question it, it came flying at them at high speed. They all hit the dirt as the rocket then curved up and went five feet upwards before showering them in sparks. The other group managed to get the injured away from the site while Leon was distracted and they started to run at him again, from the car window, Leon had a giant slingshot ready with a HUGE water balloon set. He pulled back as hard as he could and let go. The balloon was too fast for Sakura as the balloon hit her and drenched her in cold water. She stood there stunned as the rest kept their charge. Suddenly a string came undone and six planks popped up out of the ground and pelted them with water balloons. Kiba charged past and got close to the car base. He was about to jump into it when Leon popped up and shot him in the face with the air gun, loaded with essence of fart. Kiba doubled over in midair and went skidding as he landed on the other side of the car. Leon did not give him the chance to recover as he then pulled out three rotten eggs and pelted poor Kiba with them. The eggs yolk sank into his coat and the smell stayed on him as he rolled around in pain from the nose into his brain. Leon then turned back to the other group and got ready to launch an artillery shell at them. He lit the fuse and closed the hatch as the shell flew out of the end and exploded near Neji, who nearly had a heart attack from that. Leon then drew more water balloons into his slingshot and took aim. He released at the other group, Sasuke took out a shurikan and threw it at the balloon, however the balloon popped and the water kept going as Sasuke got splashed suddenly. Kakashi, TenTen, Ino, Naruto, Rock Lee, and Chouji ran forwards towards Leon, but suddenly their feet sank into something soft and they fell into a pit of water. Leon then loaded more fireworks into his pipes and shot them around the pool area. They seemed to take the hint and didn't try to get out. Leon looked over at the other group, they were dangerously close. Leon took a chance and loaded his air gun. He then took aim and fired, they stopped suddenly and grabbed their noses as they started to make gagging noises. Leon went back into his pit and rigged the place with the last of his water balloons. He took the rest of his ammo and went down the pit. The last group ran up and opened the door, but just as they did that, the dart gun fired and set off the last of the balloons, soaking everyone that was in the doorway.

The Tunnel

Leon crawled along the tunnel, thinking about what he should do if they decided to give chase, or if by chance they happened to be where he popped up. Leon found the end of the hole and climbed up the ladder placed inside to wind up at…

Ichiraku Ramen

Leon popped out from behind the counter and looked around. He didn't see any of the ninja so he went out into the street and started to make his way towards Tsunade's office.

Meanwhile, back at the battle site

The ninja recovered from his barrage of attacks and now they had him. They opened up the strange giant metal device he was hiding in only to find…………nothing. Not a trace of him anywhere. They searched the whole car and they flipped it over and they still couldn't figure it out. Giving up, and not bothering the check the well camouflaged hole if it was really there, they made their way back to the village to go and report to Tsunade for a mission.

Tsunade's Office

Leon was sitting on the couch and he had his super soaker loaded and ready for combat. He knew even Tsunade couldn't save him from the oncoming attack once they got there, so he took the time to prepare himself again. He had the doorway rigged with buckets and water balloon launchers and he had managed to come across one of those old giant boxing glove levers and he had that on the side. Armed to the teeth with fireworks, water, and air guns, Leon was ready for anything…well…anything Konoha could probably offer. Tsunade shook her head and looked at the armed teen with a raised eyebrow. She knew he was going to be in trouble with the others, but she never imagined that he would actually be prepared like this. Before anything else could happen, the door opened and the long awaited group entered the room. The bucket fell over and landed on Naruto's head, the water balloon barrage got Kakashi, Rock Lee, and Kiba off guard, and the giant boxing glove attack got Neji and Sasuke by complete surprise. Leon then lit a five minute smoke bomb and threw it into the center of the room. The bomb went off and the whole room was covered in red smoke. No one could see or breathe, excluding Kakashi with his mask and Leon's immunity and love for the smell of gunpowder. Leon took out a super soaker gun he had and unleashed upon the crowd, no one knew what to do about the sudden water attack so they scrambled all about trying to see and breath, all the while bumping into each other or getting a good face full of water. Tsunade had enough and opened her window, suddenly the fireworks really went off as Leon lit off a bunch of strobes and flares and let them go off in the room. Now if no one was really blinded by the smoke from earlier…they were blind now. Everyone grabbed onto their eyes and screamed and ran around in circles while getting soaked and hit with bottle rockets. Leon took out more water balloons and pelted everyone he could find, he then took out his air gun and shot the fart smell around the room. Everyone gagged but more so Kiba, with his nose a thousand times more sensitive, it was real hell for him. Leon then took out a box of Saturn missiles and taking a board, he slightly tilted them sideways and shot at everyone who was leaping and jumping across the room to avoid the new threat. After about five minutes of this, the smoke finally cleared and Tsunade was shocked at the sight she saw, there all over her floor, were Konoha's ninjas lying on the floor with Kakashi waving a small white flag. "We give up…were sorry for attacking you…" was all they said before they all fainted. A mess of beat up ninja's that were soaked to the bone with water, burnt outfits from the fireworks and black marks all over their faces and arms. To say the least, they look like they just came out from a battle that lasted about 4 years long, and Leon was doing a victory dance in place at his little victory. Tsunade grinned and took out a paper. She wanted him for this village, if he could do that to a group of Chunin and a Jonin, imagine what he could do to other ninjas, Orochimaru perhaps? Tsunade grinned as she filled out the legal papers as she thought about a soaked, and burnt up Orochimaru on the ground and out cold with Leon wearing a cape while striking a dramatic pose with one foot on Orochimaru. Leon had, however, by now finished his dance and was wondering why Tsunade had an evil grin on her face and was now and then, staring up at him as her grin got bigger and bigger. To say the least, Leon was scared. Tsunade then handed him the papers and demanded he sign without reading it, of course it was in Japanese and Leon can't read it that well enough so he just signed it, unaware that he had just signed himself over to become a Chunin. "Great! Perfect! With this in play, and you by our side, we have nothing to worry about anymore!" Tsunade exclaimed as she got teary eyes and was clinging onto the papers. Leon's head tilted to the right as he was obviously confused by this. Tsunade saw this and then coughed, "My boy, welcome to your first day as a Chunin!" she said as she pulled a headband out from her desk. Shocked, but still able to move, Leon walked over to her desk to accept the gift, but he was positive it was just Tsunade playing a joke and trying to be funny. Right as he got close to her desk though, he tripped on his own foot from his sudden shock and he hit his headband face first and hit the edge of her desk. "Oh my god! Are you ok!" Tsunade asked as Leon went down for the count. "Yeah…but you should have seen the other truck!" was all Leon muttered before he passed out.

Well that's where I woke up in this dream. I hope you all actually like this because I'm having fun writing about it. Don't yell at me for anything because this was a dream and I can't help how the outcome goes, it's weird yes, it makes no sense in some parts, I know…I'm doing my best to fill out the story but keep in mind that some of these parts don't even come to me in the dream. I'm just warped around suddenly so I'm filling in areas. Things like the tunnel, I opened it in the dream and the next thing I knew was I was climbing a ladder and I came up behind Ichiraku Ramen. More or less all I added was me going through it. That's how I go about filling this in. Well anyways, please read and review so I can tell if anyone actually reads it or likes it.

Next Chapter: Chapter 3: Freelancer out foxes the fox and sneaks past a snake.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Freaky Naruto Dream**_

_**Chapter 3 Konoha, an alternate world?**_

Hello people! I'm still alive and kicking but I've had alot of problems lately. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now that I no longer have Microsoft Word. Wordpad is so hard to type on and editing isn't going to be easy.

Sakura: Editing? You NEVER edit your fics!

Naruto: Yeah! So stop complaining!

I do so edit my fics! I also have beta readers and editors and once they are all finished I re-read and edit my fics myself.

Sasuke: Sure you do.

Grr...I have no time for you right now Sasgay.

Sasuke: What did you call me?!

Sakura: What did you just say to Sasuke?!

Uh-oh...Security!

-Rock Lee, Neji, TenTen and Kiba suddenly charge in and tackle Sakura and Sasuke and drag them off to the unknown-

Naruto: ...

Kakashi: ...

Sand Siblings: ...

Jaraiya: -is rolling around laughing his butt off-

Guy: Ah yes, the power of youth explodes! -strikes his pose with thumbs and shiny teeth-

Anyways, lets get this dream fic going. I don't have all night ya know.

Disclaimer: The day I own Naruto is the day I move out into a cave and sleep on my beard! Unfortunately I'm too lazy to use my survival skills and I hate facial hair, so it's obvious I won't grow one.

(A/N: By the way, this chapter is kinda...screwy. Don't ask me what the hell I was smoking because I don't smoke. I just went to sleep one day and this dream happened. So if anyones offended by sexual scenes or things that make no sense at all, please don't read this fic, other than that it's kinda funny. You have been warned!)

Konoha: Tsunade's Office 19:47 P.M. (7:47)

Leon awoke suddenly as he rubbed the pain on his forehead. He then felt something on his chest, as he looked down he noticed a Leaf Village symboled headband. He picked it up and tapped it, then he tugged it, then he smelled it for some reason. He then tied it onto his forehead and walked out the doors of Tsunade's office. She wasn't in, in case anyone was wondering.

Konoha: Outside on the streets

Leon was wandering around when he saw lights all around the town. It was getting dark out and most of the shops around were closing. Leon was walking aimlessly around the village for about five minutes when he suddenly saw an orange book on the ground. He picked it up and his eyes bulged when he read the cover. "Icha Icha Paradise!" Leon nearly yelled out as he quickly glanced around his location.

He opened the book and started to read the first page when his eyes bulged open and he slammed the book shut. "Holy crap! This thing is VERY detailed!" Leon exclaimed as he looked around, then stuffed the book into his back pocket. "cough Better save this for later..." Leon said with a malicious grin on his face as he continued on his trek across town.

Kakashi's home

Leon walked up and he immediately recognized the place from his day before. He then knocked on the door but there was no answer. The door suddenly opened and there was a light shining down the hallway. Leon walked into the house but stayed cautious in case Kakashi would try to attack him. "Hello?" Leon called out as he crept farther into the house. Suddenly, he heard a loud squeaking coming from a room in the back.

Leon should have known what it was, but he didn't think of it because he knew Kakashi lived alone. But when he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of a nude Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura in between both of them. Leon could only stand there with his mouth hanging open. Kakashi looked up at him and grinned. "Ahh, hello there Leon. Would you care to join us?" Kakashi asked as Leon suddenly snapped back into reality.

"Um...n-n-n-n-noooo...th-th-thanks..." Leon stuttered out as he started to step back. Kakashi then stood up, and walked towards Leon. "Hey, get over here!" Kakashi said as he reached for Leon. Unsure what to do, he did the first thing that came to mind, leap out the window and run like hell. Leon jumped out the window and hit the ground but he oddly didn't feel any pain from landing. He then took off at a mad dash as Kakashi waved an angry fist at him from his window.

Leon was shaking uncontrollably. He had just witnessed something he wished his poor virgin eyes would be spared from. They were still burning for crying out loud! "I'll never look at those three the same way again..." Leon muttered as he then entered a building that seemed to be a gym. He walked around lazily until he found a doorway that said girls locker room in kanji.

You guessed it, he couldn't read the sign and thus walked in. The sight that greeted Leon would have made any perverts dream come true. He caught TenTen and Temari in an embrace and in the middle of a kiss. They both jumped and turned towards him with a glare as he kinda stood there, holding back his bloody nose.

"Um...can we _help_ you?" Temari asked as she grabbed TenTens hand and drug her off to another area. Before they left the room however, Leon tossed her a coin and TenTen agreed to camcord their time together. 'Jaraiya would be pleased.' Leon thought as he made his way to the outskirts of the village.

Leon went up to a nearby building but he could smell flowers. He looked at the sign, but he couldn't read it. He then peered inside and he easily guessed it was a flower shop. He was about to leave when he saw a certain blonde girl watering the flowers in the shop. Leon sighed with relief, seeing as she was the only person not getting it on right now in Konoha.

Suddenly, a kunai crashed through the window he was standing at and it barely grazed his left arm. Getting scared, he turned and ran as fast as he could but suddenly he felt his body stop. He couldn't move and when he looked down he saw a LOOOONG shadow that stretched out towards someone.

"Nara Shikamaru" Leon said as the dark firgure emerged from the shadows. "Wow, we've never even talked to each other yet, and you know about my jutsu. I have to applaud your knowledgeable efforts on each of us but thats going to end here." Shikamaru said as Ino, Chouji, Neji, Kiba, Shino and Hinata suddenly appeared.

"Crap." Leon said as he looked around as best he could, despite his body being paralyzed by the Shadow Possession Jutsu. Leon finally had it way past his head with the bull he was getting from them, he was so angry he didn't even realize he had taken full control over Shikamaru's jutsu.

"What the hell's happening?!" Shikamaru cried out when Leon charged at him, forcing Shika to also charge at him and raise his left arm and make a fist. Leon had raised the right. He then punched as hard as he could and Shikamaru's fist collided with Leons. Shikamaru was prepared for the attack but what he didn't expect was for Leon to pop out his blade, so when their punches hit, Leons blade cut through Shikamaru's hand and made his blood drip all over the ground.

Shikamaru quickly released the jutsu as the rest of the small group charged at Leon. He glanced to the right and grabbed onto Ino, putting his blade against her neck as he pulled her back with him. Everyone stopped when they saw he had ahold of her. "Come any closer and her head will hit the ground." Leon threatened, his voice sounding deeper and cold. His eyes weren't the same either, they had an emotionless, cold stare to them as he held onto Ino.

Neji was the first to act. He threw a shurikan at Leon but he threw Ino into it, her chest taking the attack as she flew into Neji. Leon charged right behind her as he punched forwards with his blade. Neji couldn't recover from catching Ino and dodge the attack at the same time, so when Leon attacked, he got Neji in the left rib. The sound of flesh tearing apart and a bone snapping could be heard as Neji screamed in pain.

Leon pulled the blade out quickly and turned to his other attackers. He heard a yip and then he felt bite marks on his back. He then slammed backwards onto the ground and when he saw Kiba come at him, he rolled over and used Akamaru as a shield. Kiba immediatelly stopped when he saw his canine buddy in danger. Using this to his advantage, Leon threw the dog at Kiba and charged at Shino.

Shino immediatelly called out his insects but Leon knew this was coming. He pulled out two green orbs from a pouch he had and threw them at Shino. The gas spread out amongst everyone and the effects took quick action. It was sleeping gas but Leon had put his forehead protector over his nose so he could breath. He took one big inhale and held his breath as he slammed his blade into Shino's right arm.

Shino was too tired from the gas to scream but the cut did make him weaker. He immediatelly fell to the ground as with everyone around him. Hinata and Chouji were far away enough not to get hit by the smoke but they were smart enough not to go charge at Leon. When Leon looked at them, Chouji hid behind Hinata as she put her hands to her face in fright. Leon seemed to calm down a bit as he started to stumble.

The killer look in his eyes disapeared and his shoulders seemed to relax from the tension he felt. His adrenaline levels fell fast and he calmed down as he suddenly swayed back and forth and nearly fell over. Leon blinked a few times and looked around. "Hey Hinata, Chouji...whats the matter?" he asked as they just stared at them. He turned around and saw a sight he never thought he would see so soon in Konoha.

Leon started to panic but then took a deep breath and regained his composure. He turned to Hinata and Chouji. "Hinata, go get a medic nin, tell them that it's an emergency and we need someone here immediately. Chouji, help me carry them to that building there." they nodded but didn't move. "Hurry up! Or do you want them to die?!" Leon yelled as they suddenly jumped and did as they were told.

7 minutes later

Three medic nins showed up and they took Neji, Shino and Shikamaru to the hospital. The others weren't badly hurt and would just need some sleep. Leon sighed as he watched them leave. Chouji left when the medic nins showed up so only Leon and Hinata remained. Hinata glanced over at Leon and gulped. "A-a-are you o-ok?" Hinata asked as she turned slightly towards Leon. He nodded and looked at her. "I should be asking you that, you were there when they were attacked, weren't you?" Leon asked as Hinata nodded. "Well, what happened here?" Leon asked as Hinata gulped again.

"W-well, they all a-a-attacked you and y-you gr-gr-grabbed ahold of Ino and u-u-used her as a shield. You then s-stabbed cousin Neji, Shino and S-s-shikamaru. The rest you used sleeping gas on." She explained as Leon stared at her with disbelief. Hinata shook her head. "I-if you n-need a p-p-place to stay tonight, if your quiet, you can stay in cousin Neji's room." Hinata offered as Leon raised an eyebrow.

Hyuuga Manor 21:25 (9:25 P.M.)

Hinata peeked inside the doorway and motioned for Leon to follow. They were almost by the stairs when a voice suddenly called, "Hinata! Where have you been?" Leon nearly jumped when he heard this voice, he was guessing it was her father and he then quietly climbed up the stairs. Her father appeared and appeared angrier than he normally looked. "Where is Neji? Why are you home so late?" he asked her as he crossed his arms. "Cousin Neji was h-h-hurt today so he is s-staying at th-the hospital tonight." Hinata explained as her father narrowed his eyes.

"If that is true, then who's the person hiding by the stairs?" her father asked as Leon casually stepped out into view. Hinata quickly explained, "He is the n-new ninja hokage-sama was t-t-talking about earlier. He has no place to s-stay so I offered to let him stay in cousins room tonight since he would not be here." Hinata's father raised one eyebrow and glanced at Leon.

Leon kept his emotionless mask on but inside, he was afraid he would get angry and try to kill him. Her father closed his eyes and sighed, "I will test the boy, if he can pass my tests, he will prove himself to not be inferior and desicrating to our home." the father explained as he started walking to a nearby door that led to an outside training ground. Hinata gulped, Leon sweatdropped, and her father grinned on the inside.

Hyuuga Training grounds

Hinata's father pointed at twenty wooden targets that were put in different ranges all around the area. "I want you to hit all these targets and make sure your weapon stays inside the wood, these targets are infused with chakra so a weapon with a weak throw will just bounce off." he explained as he grinned to himself. 'Ha! Only memebers of the Hyuuga clan can see the weak point in that target, and were also the only ones to even put a dent in them.' he thought to himself as he secretly celebrated his early victory.

Leon looked at the targets, then took out one of his handguns. The father raised and eyebrow and was about to ask what that device was when a loud **BANG** emitted from the device. All lights in the Hyuuga household suddenly turned on and Hinata and her father cried out and covered their ears. Leon shot 19 more times and blew off the tip of his gun, swirled it around and put it in the holster. The father looked up and his eyes grew wide. The targets had a hole going straight through them and they seemed to be smoking.

The father was shocked to say the least, but he wasn't about to give up yet. He then drug Leon over to another room and the targets here were all made of metal. "I want you to destroy these targets. shatter them to pieces." Father explained as he grinned again. 'His puny arms couldn't possibly break those things. This time he WILL fail.' he thought happily to himself as Leon suddenly reached into his backpack and pulled out a giant pile of red sticks with fuses on them. He then ran over and put five of the sticks underneath one of the targets, soon they all had the red sticks under them.

Leon lit one of the fuses and ran as fast as he could back to Hinata and her father. "Take cover!" Leon yelled as they jumped back into the house at the last second. **BLAAAAAAAAMMMMM!!!!** could be heard outside the doors as they collapsed. Father looked outside and his eyes were wide with shock as there was nothing left but a huge crater of the training area. Enraged, he grabbed Leon by the arm and drug him into a room in the household.

"For your last challenge, you must defeat me in a battle." Father explained as he took a battle stance. Leon nodded in approval as he took out a small yellow orb and threw it at him. Father smirked and grabbed the ball as it flew at him. "Ha! Your tricks aren't going to work this time!" he said confidentally as he now noticed five more yellow orbs flying at him, he grabbed one and then tossed one up and grabbed another, soon he was juggling nine of the orbs as best he could and trying not to drop them.

As fate would have it, Leon took out a sword, a chainsaw, three plates and five more orbs and tossed them at Father. Miraculously he juggled them all but he looked like he was getting ready to drop everything. Leon grinned, he was falling into his trap. He then reached into his backpack and pulled out a small plastic pellet gun. He took aim at Fathers foot and shot a plastic BB at his toes.

Father yelped as he dropped everything, the orbs hit the ground and exploded, the swords and chainsaw stuck into the ground and the three plates shattered on the floor. Father breathed in the yellow dust and soon fell to the floor, unable to move. "Ergh..w-what did you do..." he managed to choke out as he looked up at Leon, who was grinning.

"Nothing much, just hit you with nine doses of paralysis powder that won't wear off for another five hours." Leon explained as Hinata secretly applauded Leons victory. Her father coughed and shook his head, "Y-you've proven your w-worth, your welcome here a-a-any time." Father managed to choke out, the powder working it's magic on him as he struggled to move.

Leon took out a small bottle and had him drink it, soon he was able to move again. The father bowed and went on his way to go about his own business. Hinata blushed and walked over to Leon. "Um...Leon, g-g-good job...no one o-other than cousin Neji has beaten f-father before." she explained as he rubbed the back of his head. "Well actually, I'm just lucky everyone here doesn't know how to fight against my weapons." Leon said as he continued to rubbed the back of his head.

Hinata then showed Leon the guest room, since he was allowed to stay here now, he wouldn't have to sneak around Neji's room. Leon sighed happily as he laid down on the bed. He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out the 'Icha Icha Paradise' book and skipped ahead a few hundred pages. He looked inside and his eyes bulged again. "Holy crap! She goes both ways?!" Leon yelled out as he read the book.

Hinata heard Leon from outside the door as she was passing through and she blushed at what he said, she then put her ear against the doorway and listened closely, her blush grew when she heard Leon reading the book aloud in the room.

"She knew what she was doing was wrong, but yet it felt so good. She would have to explain to Nobu what she was doing with this other girl, but right now she had other things on her mind. Mori looked over at her other lover before her and a small blush crept itself onto her face as she slowly crawled over towards Yoen. Her hands on her thighs as she slowly caressed her. Yoens hands reached down between her legs and..." -Leon got a nosebleed- "She began to rub slowly and gently at first...then the paced began to increase...soon they were kissing each other, not with small kisses either, but deep, passionate, ravenous kisses. Loud moans were escaping both of them as they kept this up. Suddenly, Yoen made Mori lean back as she spread her legs and their clits touched each otherrrr.." Leons nose was going off like Niagra Falls.

"They began to thrust into each other slowly at first, but then the pace increased, soon both of them were moaning loudly and..." a loud **THUMP** was heard outside Leon's room. He quickly put the book back in his pocket and opened the door, he didn't see anyone but he did find a puddle of blood on the floor outside the door. Leon scratched the back of his head and just shrugged. "I guess thats enough reading for tonight." Leon said as he climbed into bed and immediatelly fell asleep.

Hinata's POV

She couldn't believe what she just heard! Leon was reading about two women doing the nasty and they both enjoyed it! Hinata was ashamed that she got a bloody nose from such a thing but she couldn't help herself...it was so hot and erot- 'NO! She can't think like that! Bad Hinata!' she thought to herself as she batted her head with her fists. Soon she went to sleep, however she was going to be awake for a while, thinking of what she had just heard and what she could do to forget about it.

Back to Leon's POV

Hyuuga Manor 11:23 A.M.

Leon woke up feeling really great this morning. The bed was very comfortable and there was not a noise to disturb him throughout the whole night. He got up and put his shoes on, which he forgot to take off at the door, and went downstairs. He could smell the sweet aroma of food cooking in the kitchen and Leon hadn't eaten anything since the great (Poor) Naruto bashing. He followed his nose to the kitchen and found out that a wide spread of different foods were layed out on the table.

Leon looked around but didn't see anyone here. Not wanting to be rude, he left the kitchen and proceeded to look around the main hall, glancing at pictures, relics and some of the intricate designs around the place. Hinata soon came downstairs and she looked a little tired. "Hinata, are you ok? You look like you didn't get enough sleep..." Leon said as he tilted his head a bit to inspect the side of her face. Hinata nodded somewhat and went into the kitchen.

Leon followed her and soon they were both eating calmly. After the breakfast, Leon decided that he had extended his welcome and bowed to Hinata. "Thank you for your hospitality." he said as he turned and left. Hinata didn't say anything but she soon turned around and went back inside and did a hand sign. "Release." she said, soon her nose started to bleed again from the pervert thoughts she had running through her head when she saw Leon.

Konoha Streets 12:25 P.M.

Leon was walking down the street, just glancing at everything around him now and then when suddenly, a figure dressed in pure black excluding a mask he had on, appeared in front of Leon. 'ANBU black ops...' Leon thought as he stared up at the man in front of him. "Hokage-sama wants you to come to the office, she has a mission for you." at this, Leon's world stopped. His brain finally kicked back on when the ANBU asked him again. "Are you ok? Do you need a medic nin?" Leon shook his head and looked back at the ANBU. "No, I'm fine. Tell her I'll be there soon." the ANBU nodded and disapeared.

Tsunade's Office, 12:45 P.M.

Tsunade was in her chair, rocking back and forth as a vein threatened to pop on her forehead. 'That brats late...' she thought as she started to rock faster. The other ninja in the room with her was, Naruto, Rock Lee, TenTen, and Guy Sensei. Soon an ANBU stepped into the room. "Hokage-sama...he's arrived." Tsunade nodded and the ANBU disapeared. Leon suddenly came bursting in through the doors, panting and gasping for breath. Tsunade however, had an eye twitching problem and as anyone would know, she hates tardy people.

"So-pant-sorry, Hok-Hokage-sama...-pant- I'm not...as fast as I used...to be." Leon said as he finally caught his breath and looked up. Tsunade scratched the front of her forehead as she suddenly remembered Leon couldn't teleport. "It's fine, look just get over here so I can tell you all about the mission." she said as Leon suddenly raised his hand. "Yes, what is it?" Tsunade asked as Leon stepped forwards.

"Uh...why am I going on this mission? Don't you think someone of better capabilities would be good?" Leon asked as Tsunade smiled. "My dear boy, this mission is just what we need you for, and besides...thanks to you, a few of our best ninja's are out of commission from that little episode last night." Tsunade said as she narrowed her eyes at him. Leon sweatdropped but then asked, "How did you figure that out?" he asked curiously as she leaned back in her chair. "There was an ANBU watching nearby, not to mention Neji told Guy Sensei what happened when he woke up from that sleeping gas you used on him, I'm not sure what kind it was but it put Neji back to sleep after he told us this." Tsunade explained as she took out a file from her desk.

Leon sweatdropped, but stopped when TenTen handed him a video camera and winked, "_Maybe Temari may let you join us next time._" she said with a wink as she turned away. Leon didn't say anything but quickly put the camcorder into his backpack. Tsunade opened the file and pulled out a picture, on the picture was Orochimaru.

"Your mission is to go and kill this man, I want you to make sure he's dead, then bring his corpse back to me." Tsunade explained. All but Leon nodded, Tsunade noticed this. "Leon, something wrong?" she asked. Leon felt like hitting her on the side of the head for her cluelessness. "Have you forgotten that I have no chakra, special abilities or the fact that he's one of the Sannin?" Leon asked as Tsunaed raised an eyebrow.

"With your technology, Leon, I think you would be the perfect warrior to fight Orochimaru. He wouldn't know how to counter your weapons and he has no defense against them, at least thats what Hyuuga-sama told me about your training excercise last night." Tsunade said as she put the papers back in the file. Guy, TenTen and Lee smiled and Naruto gave him a thumbs up. "Great work on destroying those metal targets!" Naruto said with a pat on the back as he turned his attention back to Tsunade.

"Allright, dismissed!" with that, they all turned and left for the gates of Konoha, to go and accomplish their mission.

-Warped ahead to a forest, I guess it was around Orochimaru's base because in the dream this is where I saw him.-

??? Forest ?.?.

We were walking around the woods when the rest of the team stopped. They all turned to me and grinned. Guy spoke up, "Ok Leon, this is your job now. You go on ahead and fight Orochimaru and call us if there's any trouble." They all nodded and shoved me off before I could say anything. 'How do they expect me to defeat him?' Leon thought as he walked off into the woods.

He then came across a fork in the road, much to his surprise, there were signs, the few to the right said, "Orochimaru's secret base! Go this way! Oro-sama is here! Orochimaru that way! Orochi-kun is there!" and the signs were pointing at a small grass hut off in the distance that had bright lights around it and a giant arrow pointing downwards at it saying, "Orochimaru's base" Leon then looked at the sign to the left which said, "This is the wrong way, you want to go to the left!" Leon shook his head in confusion and threw his arms up in the air and headed left. "heh heh...they honestly think I'm going to go fight him, I'm not suicidal."

As Leon was walking he heard footsteps behind him, he turned around and saw everyone from Konoha, even Orochimaru and Kabuto! Tsunade spoke up, "What the hell are you doing?! You were supposed to go fight Orochimaru!" Leon shook his head again, Orochimaru spoke up, "Yeah! You had to come fight me! Whats the deal with going to the left!?" he yelled out as Leon stepped back in total shock. Completely unsure what to do.

Leon turned around and ran away as fast as he could, but everyone was running after him. Leon reached into his pouch and tossed a sleeping gas bomb backwards, they all jumped over it and continued to chase after him. Leon then noticed something, there was a nice breeze blowing and the ground didn't feel so hard anymore...in fact, he couldn't feel the ground at all!

Leon stopped and said to himself, "If I don't look down, I wont fall." Naruto suddenly called out, "Leon! Your shoes untied!" Leon looked over at Naruto then down at his shoes, "Nani?" but that was the mistake as he fell down and plummeted into a ravine. Leon sank to the bottom and tried his best to swim to the top but to no avail. (Yeah, I can't swim...)

Suddenly, something caught onto the back of Leon's shirt and tugged him. He grabbed the line and began to tug on it desperately. Soon, a powerful tug pulled him out of the water and he flew over the head of his captor. Leon coughed a bit and looked over at the person who rescued him. Leon's vision was blurred but he made out three figures, one in black, one that seemed a tad yellow and one that seemed to have red hair, thats all Leon saw before he passed out.

Ok people…that's the new chapter. I hope everyone who reads this reviews…it's not that hard. Anyways, enjoy people and I promise I'll update sooner.


	4. Chapter 4

Freaky Naruto Dream

Chapter 4 Sand Siblings

Hey all, Ultima here and I'm back from celebrating my Christmas break! If your wondering why NOW of all times I'm updating my fic well…I just so happened to get Naruto Uzumaki Chronicles and Final Fantasy XII for Christmas among alot of other games…heh.

But anyways… -pauses his PS2 and returns with his tea- I'm going to update now and send my thanks out to many people that have reviewed thus far.

Kenkaku: I thank you for your reviews up this far.

Anime lover: Thanks, I will dream on!

Elther: Whoa…three in a row. Thanks a lot. I'm glad you like it, and I hope you like the new chapter.

Now…without further ado…I would like to present to you, my new co-host for today…Tenten!

Tenten: I still can't believe you made me do that in the last chapter.

Ultima: Trust me…it wasn't my fault.

Tenten: It was TOO your fault! YOU wrote it!

Ultima: …well now…um…it seems my co-host is a bit tired and she needs some sleep…eh? Um…Tenten…hey now…whoa. Put those scrolls away…wait…now…stop making hand signs…I'm warning you. Hey now…don't….don't you dare pick those scrolls up… -sweatdrops and begins to back away- Tenten? ….OH MY GOD RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

Tenten: Rising Twin Dragons!!! -the scrolls drop down as she leaps up into the air and a never ending volley of kunai, shuriken and other bladed objects fly out and impale the author- Oops…guess I went too far.

-Tsunade and Sakura rush in and grab Ultima's body parts and carry him off-

Tenten: ……um…-sweatdrop- anyways…on with the fic!

Disclaimer: Ultima doesn't own a thing! He dreamt this up.

Chapter 3: Sand siblings? Meet the merc!

Leon awoke and felt the heat of a fire near him. He opened his eyes and glanced over to his right.

He saw a fire and on the other side of said fire was a girl wearing a tan tunic and next to her was a huge folded black fan.

'That must be…Temari.' Leon thought as he decided now was the time to sit up. Temari saw him and made a hand motion for someone to come over.

Leon, now sitting upright, turned himself to face the fire and now noticed Gaara and Kankuro sitting across from him.

"Mornin'." Leon said calmly. Gaara showed no emotion while the other two showed a hint of amusement. "Good morning I guess." Kankuro said as he reached into a backpack and tossed Leon's head protector at him.

Leon caught it and looked at it before realizing it was his. "Oh…thanks!" Leon said as he put it back on.

"No problem, so you mind telling us what a leaf ninja's doin way out here?" Kankuro asked as he re-adjusted himself to a more comfortable sitting position.

"Well…I'm not exactly a ninja." Leon said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Um…what do you mean, not exactly a ninja?" Temari asked as she wore a confused look.

"Well…I only became a chuunin because I defeated all the other chuunin and a few jonin at Konoha with my special items." Leon explained as best as he could.

"Special…items?" Temari and Kankuro asked at the same time. Gaara, who was looking to the side, was now looking at Leon. He didn't really care who Leon was, but at the mention of special items he was slightly curious now.

"Yeah…I have a device that can shoot things way faster and stronger than a kunai can ever be thrown." Leon said.

Temari gasped and Kankuro's jaw just hung. Gaara didn't show any emotion as he turned fully towards Leon. "I want to see…" he said.

"See? As in…you want to see my gun?" Leon asked. Gaara nodded silently and Leon just shrugged and pulled out said item from his backpack.

"This is it." Leon said as he held it up for Gaara to see. Gaara nodded in approval then pointed at a nearby tree. "Show me." He said.

Leon aimed the gun at the tree and pulled the trigger, **_BLAAAM!!!_** the gun gave off this noise as the bullet shot out of the barrel of the gun and ripped into the trunk of the tree.

All but Leon jumped about six feet into the air when the gun fired. Kankuro walked over to the tree hesitantly and looked at where it was shot. "N-no way…you shot right through the tree…" he said.

Temari gasped and Gaara stood there in a shock. "Where on earth did you get such a thing?!" Kankuro asked as he walked back over to Leon.

"Um…I made it." Leon said suddenly. (Ultima: Its half true…I did repair it. Tenten: When did you get back? Ultima: Just a bit ago…hail the powers of immortality and medic nins.)

This impressed Temari and Kankuro and they proceeded to ask him what other things he had.

So Leon spent the next half an hour showing them different things like bullets, other guns, fireworks, water balloons, the air gun, spray paint, the spork of almighty destruction (heh) and the many wonders of handheld games.

It was after that they decided to introduce themselves. Leon decided not to say he knew them, lest he be accused of being a spy and they would turn on him.

"My names Kankuro." He said and he held a hand towards Temari. "And this is my sister Temari and our brother Gaara." He said as he introduced them all.

"My names Leon. Nice to meet you." He said as he shook hands with Kankuro. "So what are you planning on doing now?" Kankuro asked Leon as he stood up.

"Well, I was supposed to find someone but that little plan went out the window the moment I fell off the waterfall, so I guess I have no plans right now." Leon said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Well then, were on our way back to Sunagakure. Why don't you come with us?" Temari asked out of the blue. Surprising both Kankuro and Gaara.

(And me in the real world…I was aware of what was going on in this dream…I could actually think and talk with myself in the dream…it was kinda scary but cool at the same time, so from this point on is ME as in the author talking. If is there, that's Leon responding to me.)

"Sure…why not." Leon said as he picked up his backpack. They set out the fire and picked up their stuff and departed north to get to Suna.

-Sunagakure, after three days of travelling, a few seconds due to dreaming-

Leon was amazed at how hot it was here. He knew deserts were hot but he never imagined they were THIS humid. He took a drink of the water bottle in his backpack and sighed.

"I guess we should find you a place to stay." Kankuro said as he started to look around for a hotel.

"Why don't he just stay with us?" Temari asked. What the hell? Leon looked around but shrugged. Kankuro looked at Gaara who didn't say anything but nodded.

"Well its alright with me then." Kankuro said. With that, they led Leon off to a hut in the distance.

When they arrived, they showed Leon around the house, the what and where everything was and where he would be sleeping.

Since they had no futon for him, he agreed to take the couch. The couch…it seems to be my place lately. once again, Leon looked around in confusion but shrugged it off.

"So tell me a bit about Suna. I've never really gotten a chance to learn about it." Leon asked as he leaned back into the couch, surprised on how soft it was.

"Eh…its pretty much what you saw. Sand everywhere and the occasional street vendor. Unless theres a sandstorm, then the only thing you see is indoors or nothing at all." Kankuro said as he kicked off his sandals and relaxed on a chair in their kitchen.

When did they get a kitchen? When did a kitchen ever matter in this anime? Leon was now ignoring the voice he heard that seemed to be following him as the others didn't seem to hear it.

"I see…so I'm guessing it's a good place until a storm acts up huh?" Leon asked. "That about sums it up." Temari said as she tossed an apple towards Leon.

He caught it and didn't even realize he had already started to eat it. Temari smiled, 'He's quick…I like him.' She thought.

What the hell? When did this happen? 

Kankuro looked outside and frowned. "Speak of the devil, theres a storm coming in right now!" he said panicky as him and Temari stood up and began to seal the windows and the doorways.

Leon and Gaara just sat there and watched them go about their business, Gaara mainly because he didn't care…and Leon because he was a guest and also he didn't know what to do in this kind of situation.

OH come ON Leon!!! You've taken survival tests and read many different books on survival…you should know how to do this!!! 

Leon then looked up towards the ceiling, You shut up!

… 

And stop with the '…' thing…its annoying!

dot dot dot 

Grrr…forget it.

Gaara was now confused by Leons actions. He just looked up at the ceiling and seemed to be talking to it. Though Gaara couldn't make out what was being said, he could tell it was an argument.

"Why are you yelling at my roof?" Gaara asked quietly. Leon snapped out of his trance and looked at Gaara. "It's not the roof, I'm hearing a voice that's annoying the hell out of me."

Gaara just stared at Leon before looking away. 'Whatever…' he thought.

Temari and Kankuro finished barricading the house and now were sitting at the table and sighing.

"Great…stuck indoors now." Kankuro muttered. "What do you mean 'stuck'? Your usually indoors all the time." Temari said.

"Whatever…If you need me I'll be in my room." Kankuro said as he picked up his puppet, crow, and went to the back.

Gaara sighed, stood up and went upstairs. He didn't want to be bothered and was obviously in one of his moods.

Leon was still sitting on the couch and Temari was at the table. Grinning, she stood up and walked over to Leon before plopping down next to him.

The hell? 

"So tell me a bit about yourself." Temari said as she leaned in a bit too close for Leons comfort and stared him in the eye.

Leon sweatdropped and leaned back a bit. "Well…um…what do you want to know?" he asked her.

"Oh…you know. What kind of person are you…I mean. What kind of stuff do you like?" she asked again, this time adding in a slight purr to her voice.

This only made Leon a bit more uncomfortable. "Well…I like training and swordfights. I like to draw and write, and I also like to sit around like a sack of potatoes and take up space whenever I can." Leon said jokingly as he sweatdropped.

Temari giggled. "So what things do you hate?" she asked, she intentionally moved her arm closer to his, enough for him to feel the heat from her body.

Leon was now unsure what to do about his current situation. He was on a couch, near the arm, almost leaning off the edge with a _hot_ kunoichi leaning into him and asking him personal questions.

"Well…I hate prejudice people and people that think they are better than everyone else. I also hate people that like to intentionally hurt others that are weaker or smaller than them." Leon explained.

Temari smiled wider as she leaned in a bit more. "That's very interesting." She said seductively as she scooted closer to him, nearly causing him to fall off from the couch.

"Is it now?" Leon said half scared and half surprised, mainly from nearly falling off the couch. "Yes…it is.." Temari answered as she leaned in more.

Right as she fell onto him and he fell off the couch, Kankuro came walking in. "Hey Temari…I think the storms dying do-" he stopped abruptly when he saw Temari lying on Leon and they were gazing into each others eyes passionately.

Actually…it was more along the lines of, Leon was scared and Temari was enjoying this. However, to Kankuro it was this and much more.

"I see your quick with your work sis!" Kankuro said as he started to laugh.

Temari blushed and got up off of Leon. "It's not what it looks like!" she snapped at him, anger etched on her face.

"That's not what it appears to me!" Kankuro said as he started to go back into his room. "I'll leave you two lovebirds _alone_."

Kankuro emphasized on that last part as he went into his room laughing. Temari desperately wanted to grab her battle fan and go teach her brother a thing or two.

"Ah just let him be. He's just having himself some fun." Leon said as he sat up. Temari turned around and smiled. "Right…so where were we?" she said as she was immediately down and in front of him again.

'Crap…shouldn't have said anything.' Leon thought as he tried to crawl back away from her. Just then, Naruto burst through the door with Kiba, pretending to fire a machine gun as Neji just simply walked in.

"Leon, were here to rescue you!" Naruto declared as he pointed at Leon. It was then that the three intruders noticed exactly what was happening with Leon and Temari.

"Leon! You animal!" Kiba joked, Naruto snickered and Neji had an amused grin on his face. Leon stood up and got behind Naruto. "Save me!" he said.

Temari seemed a bit confused but changed her mind when she saw Gaara come downstairs. She figured he sent a message or something.

'Shoot Gaara…you just ruined my fun.' She thought playfully as she grinned at Leon who was still hiding behind Naruto.

"Lady Hokage told us to fetch Leon after his accident at the waterfall. She also told us to tell you that you are to continue your mission of assassinating Orochimaru." Neji explained.

Now what humor Temari had in her was now gone as she learned the truth for Leons sudden appearance in the waters where they were fishing.

"Guy-sensei and Tenten are still at the forest, we are to meet up with them and assist you in this mission from now on as we just learned that the cloud country is going to be present during this battle." Neji finished as he turned and started to leave.

"We would do well to hurry, if we are too late, we will miss our chance to get Orochimaru and the cloud lord." Naruto started to drag Leon away when Gaara stopped them.

"Hold it…were coming too." He said. Temari grabbed her fan and Kankuro grabbed his puppet and soon the seven of them were on their way to Konoha again.

Well, that was interesting. I can't believe I dreamt that…"

Konoha Forests, by Orochimaru's base again-

Leon had his handgun at the ready, he was in the front. Naruto and Tenten had the left while Neji, Kiba and Guy had the right. The sand siblings would take the base from the rear.

Leon thought back to their plan, he would storm in through the front and begin firing upon anyone and everyone inside. As soon as he did this, everyone else would rush in and help finish off whoever was left.

Nice plan…kamikaze's 

They groups ran off to their respective areas and gave Leon the thumbs up.

He then ran forwards and using the butt of his shotgun, smashed the door in and charged into the room.

Whoa…when did I get a shotgun? 

All of a sudden, Leon was back in his own house. He was standing in front of t.v. where the incident began and for some reason, the Naruto cast was coming out from the top of the t.v!

"So this is where you live!" Naruto said as he entered. Leon was forced to back up and let everyone enter as they all came through the t.v. and packed into his small living room.

"How the hell did we get back to my world?" Leon asked as he looked out the window frantically to see if he was really home.

That's what I want to know 

Tsunade raised her hand, "I think that portal that we were supposed to find for you, re-appeared in Orochimaru's base and when you charged in and busted the door down, it caused all of us to follow you."

Leon nodded somewhat in understanding. Well I don't understand…does she mean that the portal expanded when I opened the door? 

Leon got a scowl on his face and looked upwards, "Of course that's what she means you idiot!" everyone gave him a weird look.

…I just called myself an idiot…interesting. 

Leon shook his head and now noticed his t.v. was glowing and getting bigger and bigger as more characters were starting to bust out from the t.v.

"Outside, everyone!" Leon yelled as they all frantically pushed and shoved to get through the door, some of the more unruly people went through the windows, or better yet, the fragile walls.

Now everyone was standing outside, the cast of Naruto, the Akatsuki, the Yellow Flash of Konoha, Sarutobi, hell even Orochimaru and his sound ninja was here.

Leon was glancing around, noting confused faces and shocked people all around. "If everyone would please sit down, we can settle this matter calmly and quickly!"

Everyone looked at Leon and did as told, no sooner did they reply when the t.v. gave off a weird noise and finally exploded.

"Holy crap! Whats with that thing?!" Itachi yelled as he looked back at the now destroyed t.v.

"Its been acting up for a while." Leon sighed as he now had a sudden realization. "Due to that t.v. breaking, your all now stuck here in my world. That means, bye bye Konoha."

Everyone gasped and started to talk amongst themselves as they all realized that this was indeed true now. Jiraiya raised his hand, "Yes, Jiraiya?" Leon gave him the floor.

Jiraiya stood up, "If were stuck here, how are we going to survive?" he asked as everyone started to agree with this question.

"Well as you all should know, there are different laws and regulations in my world. One of them is that, none of you are citizens here, meaning you could get arrested if you all do anything wrong here, that includes murder, thievery, spying, sneaking, or destruction of private property."

With that said, he gave everyone a hard stern look, more so directed at the sound and Akatsuki. Their own members began to talk amongst themselves before Itachi raised his hand.

"Yes, Itachi?" Leon asked. The Uchiha stood up and asked, "How powerful are the ninja here in your world?" he asked.

Leon shook his head, "In my world, there are no ninja's, no robots of mass power, no demons, half breeds, or people with the ability to use chakra, or energy blasts."

At the sound of this, mostly everyone seemed a bit shocked, then some of the more villainous people grinned.

"However, they have guns, bombs, cars, knives, and other weapons that more than make up for their lack of ninja abilities." Leon quickly covered.

Itachi looked confused, so Leon looked around and found two empty cans. He put them on a nearby fence and had Itachi come over by him.

"Throw a kunai or shuriken at one of the cans." He said. Itachi looked confused but did as he was told. To Leon, it was slow and a bit amazing considering the weight of it.

Itachi was still confused, that is, until Leon fired his shotgun at the other can and it had a huge gaping hole in it near instantly.

Everyone jumped when the shotgun fired off and poor Itachi nearly had a heart attack from the sudden scare.

"Satisfied?" Leon asked before he went back to the front of the group.

Everyone that had those villainous thoughts from before were seriously reconsidering now that they saw what the people of this world used.

Haku raised his hand suddenly, "Yes Haku?" Leon said.

He rose and looked around before asking his question, "Where on your planet are we going to be living? I mean, if we are not citizens, then that must mean that we cannot go very far around this place before we run into some trouble."

Everyone murmured quietly but they had the same thoughts.

Leon then turned and pointed at the woods surrounding his home. "Your all welcome to use the woods around here to build yourselves new homes. But sadly, you cannot build past the fence line because that's not my property."

Then why are you allowing them to use the trees? 

Everyone groaned at having to do work but they all stood up and instantly vanished to go off and find suitable wood for their homes.

Leon stood there and sweatdropped, being the last person around. "Well…I guess I should get to work on something for them to eat." He said before going back into his house to look for ingredients to cook with.

"I'm going to need a lot of bowls…" he said before grabbing his car keys and wallet and heading out the door to his car.

Before he could leave however, Naruto, Tenten, and Shikamaru came back and walked up to him. "Where ya headed?" Shikamaru asked as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Town, wanna come with?" Leon asked as he opened the door. They all nodded and climbed inside before anyone else could show up.

They were fine with everything about the car, down to its starting and the radio which they thought was awesome, however when Leon took off down the road.

You take a hyperactive ninja, give him a sugar rush, and cast haste from Final Fantasy on him while letting him wear boots that made his speed double over and you slowed down everything around him.

This would seem fast to the normal eye, however when Leon roared off down the road, the ninja's were pressed back against their seats and had wide eyes at how fast they were going.

Coincidentally enough, Dragula – Rob Zombie was playing in the CD player and the song gave Leon such a rush while driving this fast that he didn't want to slow down.

Leon came to a stop and slowed down enough to where he could stop comfortably, he looked to his side and saw Shikamaru's hair was pure white and standing on end as he had a firm grip onto the seat and his eyes were blank.

Leon looked in the back and Tenten and Naruto were hugging each other, not out of intimacy but out of pure fear for their lives.

Leon shrugged and put a new CD in, this time it was a burnt CD and had a few songs by Toybox. When the giddy music came on and Leon was driving more slowly now, everyone calmed down and Naruto seemed to be intent on listening to the songs playing.

When they got to town, they pulled into a small parking lot. The area looked really run down and to them, this place looked like a dump.

Leon shut off the car and everyone got out. He locked the doors and they walked into the small market. Leon grabbed a cart and notioned for them to follow him.

They were glancing at everything and Naruto, being Naruto had to touch this and sample that. Soon, Leon had half his cart full of junk food and it was mainly because of Naruto.

"Ok, plates…gonna need a lot of plates." Leon said as he walked to the dishware aisle and looked around.

He found a pack of ten dishes that said, '2 for 5 dollars' so he grabbed about 8 packages of those and went to aisle seven to find some spaghetti noodles.

Naruto saw something he wanted…it came in a plastic sheet and was in a brown box that held 30 of these packets, what was better was it said '4 for a $1'. Naruto literally ran over and drug Leon to where he was and showed him the box.

Leon grinned and shook his head, "We have no need to buy this ramen Naruto, for I already have 36 boxes like this at my house." He explained and went back to the cart.

Naruto's eyes widened and he grinned as he followed Leon around again.

Shikamaru saw a strange little box in front of him. It said, 'Ultimate Collection of the best strategy games in the world.' Now Shikamaru was interested in this box and he brought it over to Leon. "Hey, what is this?" he asked him.

Leon looked at it, "It's a computer game…but we don't need it, I already have all the games on that one." He said before putting three big silver pots into the cart.

Shikamaru looked at the case again and back up at Leon, "Think I could give it a shot when we return?" he asked. Leon shrugged, "Sure, play till ya drop." He said.

Now Tenten was glancing at everything but couldn't seem to find something she liked here. 'This store seems a bit boring.' She thought as she idly passed by some more junk food that was on display.

Her attention was then caught to a display case that had a bunch of weapons inside them. She looked back towards Leon and the others and noticed they were talking, something about the Akimichi clans eating habits and how much food they would require.

So she walked over to the display case and glanced into it, she saw knives, knives and more knives. All of them had a picture or something on them that had little value and upon closer inspection, were pretty much useless for combat or self defense.

She was about to sigh when she felt Leons presence near her, she turned and looked at him, "We'll be making another stop shortly after, theres a store I think you might like." He said before smiling and walking off again.

She smiled lightly and walked after them. Now when they got to the till, they noticed now that no one was around. Even the customers from earlier seemed to be missing.

Shrugging, Leon glanced around and walked right out with the stuff without paying for it. Shikamaru looked worried, "Won't you get in trouble?" he asked.

"Nope." Leon said, "No one saw me and there aren't any camera's in the front of the store because everyones supposed to be working the front anyways." He said.

-meanwhile, back in the store-

Everyone suddenly stood up when someone yelled, "Found it!" a girl came walking over to the guy that yelled and took her contact lens, "Thank you." She said.

True to his word, Leon took them to another shop that was located in a dome shaped, blue building. They didn't think much of it until they entered.

Everywhere, on the walls, hanging from the ceiling, and even some piled on the floor…weapons.

Tenten's eyes grew wide and she excitedly hugged Leon then ran off into the shop, dragging them all with her in her excitement.

Now, to say she was happy would be an understatement. No, our little bun haired kunoichi was hopping all over the place, here and there, looking at everything and moving with such speed that the shop clerk had to rub her eyes a few times to make sure her hangover wasn't messing with her.

Shikamaru looked REALLY bored right about now and was on the verge of falling asleep where he stood, Leon quickly pulled out his DS and handed it to Shikamaru.

"Whats this thing?" he asked as he began to inspect it. Leon put a game called Fire Emblem into the bottom part and turned on the power and loaded the game for him.

Shikamaru was about to ask again when he went through the tutorial and quickly became excited with the game.

Naruto was now also bored, so Leon reached into his other pocket and pulled out his GBA.

Funny…I never carry both with me at once. 

He put a game called Street Fighter in the cartridge holder and let Naruto run wild.

No sooner had he done that when Tenten came back with a full cart of items and a giddy smile on her face that pretty much resembled a cats smile.

Leon looked a bit dumbfounded at the amount she had, but he sweatdropped and brought the cart to the front, (after much pushing and shoving)

Leon thought, 'how the hell did she move this cart?! The wheels are rusted still and these things weigh a damn megaton!'

After they got up their, the clerk who was watching a small t.v and smoking a cigarette, suddenly had wide eyes and her cigarette fell from her mouth.

Back at the house

Everyone had managed to get enough lumber for a decent home for themselves, but now they were all arguing over who got to live where and how much room they got.

They all were about to battle it out when they saw a strange black moving thing enter the yard. The new monster let out a weird growl of some sort (honk honk) and thus scared everyone.

They all immediately pulled out a kunai and shuriken and were preparing to attack but stopped when Leon suddenly appeared from inside the monster and pushed his way out from a door of some sort.

"HOLD IT!!! Don't attack my car!" he said with comical tears in his eyes as Shikamaru and Naruto were to busy with the games to be paying much attention and Tenten was too busy admiring her 'gifts'.

Everyone backed down and sighed with relief. In a weird sort of way, Leon was the new 'kage' of them all and it had become his duty to make sure all of them survived.

So, he went into his house and with the help of a few others, managed to get Tentens items into the house and carry the groceries.

He noticed that the Akimichi's had that 'hungry' look on them as they were hanging around the kitchen a lot.

"I'm not cooking tonight, but we ARE going to get food." Leon told them. This was kinda confusing to them but they nodded.

Leon then picked up a book with numbers in it and a strange square thing that had numbers on it as well and began to punch in some numbers.

All the ninja were watching but Leon was oblivious as he made the call, "Yes I'd like to place an order. Okay….okay now, I want thirty large pepperonis, twenty large tacos, fifteen supremes, and ten of every other flavor you have. Yes I'm serious. Of course I'll pay if you make it on time. Right, you've got two and a half hours, and the clock is now ticking." With that, Leon put the phone down and started doing something with his watch.

"Um…what did you just do?" Chouji asked, clearly confused by this.

"I just placed an order for pizza, however I know its going to be free because I didn't give them my address. Oh well…they'll probably just trace the call and find me, however it'll be too late by then." Leon explained.

Without further waiting, he picked up the book again and dialed another number. "Yes I want to place an order for delivery. Uh huh. Yes. Ok then, I want one hundred of you tacos, half soft, half hard, fifty orders of OLE's, thirty of your cinnamon deserts and one hundred of your taco burgers. Five of them plain."

Leon waited a bit, "Yes I'm serious, you know my address, unless the foods here in an hour then its free right? Ok then, the clock is ticking." With that, Leon hung up the device and started to look through the book again for another number.

The Akimichi's meanwhile…were now salivating in anticipation for they knew what a taco was.

Leon the picked up that device again and had dialed another number, "Yeah I want an order to go." He said "I want thirty of every burger you have and I want fries with them. Also some chicken nuggets and twenty kids meals. And five plain double hamburgers."

"Yes I'm serious…if your not here within an hour and a half its free right? Great…better hurry." With that, Leon put the phone down and smiled.

"Food will be here shortly he said." Everyone nodded but then went back to the issue at hand. "Leon, everyones fighting about the room and the space issues here. Theres not enough room for all of us."

Leon thought about it for a minute before he grabbed his car keys and went back outside. "All of you wait here." He said as he took off.

-thirty minutes later-

Leon returned and everyone stood up and looked at him, he then held a rolled up piece of paper for all to see. "I just got a deed for more land!" he said as they all gathered around.

Now, this deed says that I can build far back to the edge of the hill in the back and to the edge of the swamp over to the east." Leon explained.

With the sudden new room and the new locations, everyone grinned and went out to build their own homes.

However, some people like Naruto, the sound five, and Sasuke stayed behind. "We don't have a place to live and we don't want to live alone." They all admitted.

Leon scratched the back of his head and sighed, "Well if it's alright with you guys, you can stay in the house with me." He offered.

They smiled and nodded. Soon Shikamaru came up to him with the DS. "This game was great...but where are those other games you were talking about?" he asked.

So Leon took them into the house and showed Shikamaru the computer. He booted it up and showed him all the games he had, mostly strategy and war based.

Shikamaru liked. He didn't know which one to try first, Leon pointed at one that had the picture of an Aztec guy on the cover, the game was called Age of Empires II.

"I suggest that one, it's a great game." He said. Shikamaru nodded and began to play the game while Leon showed them the house.

First there was his bedroom in the back, Leon said NO ONE but him was allowed back there.

There were two spare bedrooms and a doorway that looked new but was sealed off. "Whats with that door?" Naruto asked.

"I was building more rooms, but I got lazy and just didn't finish it I guess." Leon said as he sweatdropped.

"We can help finish it." Kimimaro offered. "That would be great." Leon said. Right as they were about to get to work, a beeping noise interrupted them and they looked at Leon's watch.

"Five minutes late, free food." Leon said. They all grinned and set to work.

"Hey, leader." Tayuya called as she held up a board. "Is this all the damn material you have?!" she asked shocked.

Leon looked around and shook his head, "No…I had a full set of material here…" he said before he noticed a certain black haired sannin sneaking off towards the swamp with an arm full of boards.

"Ah…that explains a lot." Leon said. Sighing, they departed off to the woods to find more lumber to chop down.

Sasuke took out his windmill shuriken and threw it at a few trees, knocking them down in a single attack as his shuriken came back to him and he caught it.

"showoff…" Naruto muttered as Tayuya giggled. "Ok, now to drag them home." Leon said.

No sooner did he say that when Kidoumaru picked all the logs up and carried them. "Thanks." Leon said as they went back to the house.

No sooner than they did when nine red, and six blue cars pulled into the yard.

"Foods here." Leon said, before he could do anything else, everyone was suddenly zoomed back into the yard and the delivery people nearly had a heart attack.

After the food was all taken out and put onto a LONG table that they had to make, Leon was arguing with the delivery people.

"Come one man, we couldn't find the place!" one delivery person said, "No way, the pizza's were supposed to be the latest order, but here you all are, arriving at the same time and the pizza's are fifteen minutes late."

The delivery people sighed and left, boy were THEY gonna get it when they got back.

No one moved, they were all looking at the food like it was a foreign object. Well…to them it WAS foreign.

They didn't know what to do with it until Leon came over, grabbed a slice of the 'pizza' and started to eat it, the Akimichi's joined in and soon everyone was eating and holding conversation with each other.

'Not bad…' Leon thought as he watched everyone. It was truly a good day.

-five hours later-

After much hard work and grueling hours of determined effort, most of their homes were close to being completed. So to make them feel comfortable, Leon made a huge bonfire and grabbed a bunch of blankets from his house and made beds for everyone so sleep on.

Some people were sleeping or some chatted quietly by the fire. Leon made a quick scan of everyone before fatigue reared its ugly head at him.

Leon yawned and found an empty spot where somewhere by the fire where he lied down and soon fell asleep.

A/N: Wow, for once I didn't get knocked out. HEY! I'm not invincible ya know, I don't heal instantly. Anyways, this chapter may not have seemed to be all that funny or entertaining and indeed, I didn't plan for it to do so.

I have decided that this will be a two part chapter, seeing how It would be too long for one chapter, and it's currently 3 in the damn morning. Energy drinks can only keep me going for so long.

Now I didn't expect this to happen but, in all honesty…I was actually waiting for the food to arrive when I made this fic. I felt so stupid…I actually called the places up and was complaining about the food not arriving.

…I got some free food I guess. –shrugs- Well…either way, they WERE late again.

Tenten: Also, were having a special event for the fic, believe it or not.

Ultima: Indeed...what she means is, that the next part had me doing various activities with a lot of the characters. But there are so many that I wanted to know the fans opinions.

Should I write out everybody's time with me? Or,

Just write about a few peoples times with me.

Because in all honesty…there are a lot of people to go through, and we have a lot of fun apparently. I don't really mind if I type out the whole experience, because that just means more fun for me.

What I want to know is, if the fans care that I do it. Because I don't want them to start reading and tell me later it was a waste of time and they got bored reading about this one character…yadda yadda yadda.

Tenten: So vote people!

Yes: I want the full story

No: I only want a few peoples stories (list the people)

Well…with that. I bid you all good night.

Tenten: Later people!

Now Tenten...let us retire to my room shall we?

Tenten: -smile- don't make me tear you apart again.

-sigh- Oh well…Good Night and review!


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